focus on you and your DH. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. Mr S lived there once (San Fransisco), but he hasn't any urge to return, either. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Better safe than sorry. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? What if they were married? I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. But living a lie would be so much worse. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. I was correct, she struggles with trust. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. Are you sure all you did was kiss? The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. I was heart broken, and even though he said he immediately pulled away, and we stayed together and over time forgot about it, I remember feeling so uneasy every time I knew he would be in that girls company. As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. She may say that. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. My SO and I had been dating two years. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. / Dyathinkhesaurus? What am I going to do? You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Please leave me a comment. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions Good luck. Wouldn't you? Whoever did it, doesnt matter. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? get into counselling. I believe, on the other hand, that if you got drunk and kissed someone because you were drunk and you had no feelings for the other person, there is no point in confessing about that kiss because a confession could cause trouble over nothing. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" It was just a kiss. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. Having eyes for someone else while you're married is seen to be wildly inappropriate. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? You already have internalized that part. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. I felt disorientated. 2. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. Lets get down to the basics here. She had gone to bed. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When - HuffPost Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. Wow! I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. ;-) A I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Well, that's all fairly laudible but Asked how the kiss was, Brodieeven says: It wasnt bad, its actually better than a few of my exes. New Mexico sunsets flat lands breathtaking. I say tell him. So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? I'm sure you'll survive if you don't tell him and I'm certain that he doesn't need to know. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. You reap what you sow. It's just a "good weekend?" I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. I had three [2] ..you showed you don't think of he and you as a team by sharing all information pertinent to the relationship; I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. "and even though he said he immediately pulled away" And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A I wouldn't want him around the person. Even if it is innocent kiss, I am done. I have to admire the guy for realizing that he was putting a marriage at risk, and backed away. Nooooo, surely not. If it in the meantime hits a nerve and makes you uncomfortable or even gets you all het up, that's your problem, not mine. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. "what the hell where we at?" You cheated. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. I dont believe in innocent kiss. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. 14 Effective Ways To Get Over The Guilt Of Cheating - A Conscious Rethink Best to start your own thread, like I say, if you want, where you could 'whistle while you work' to your heart's content. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP.